Something Borrowed, Something Blue

The Professional Heckler
www.professionalheckler.wordpress.com
SOMETHING BORROWED, SOMETHING BLUE
Posted: 04 Apr 2010 12:53 AM PDT

IT’S EASTER SUNDAY! Every Filipino Catholic is in a joyful mood… with the exception perhaps of PLDT Chairman Manuel V. Pangilinan!

It spread like wildfire on the Internet. According to reports, sections of PLDT Chairman Manuel V. Pangilinan’s commencement address to the sesquicentennial graduates of his alma mater, Ateneo De Manila University last March 26 and 27 were copied from speeches of celebrities like media mogul Oprah Winfrey, late-night host Conan O’Brien, ‘Harry Potter’ author J.K. Rowling and even US President Barack Obama. Members of the graduating class now understand why MVP, towards the latter part of his speech last week thanked AdMU president Fr. Bienvenido Nebres, the Class of 2010, their parents, the Ateneo community, and Google.

Ironically, in his commencement address, Manuel V. Pangilinan or MVP revealed that he cheated in fourth year high school at San Beda College. Well, old habits never die.

Manny Pangilinan admitted that portions of his graduation speech were “borrowed” from speeches of other celebrities. Of course, he would have bought them if they were up for sale.

A section of MVP’s commencement address to Ateneo graduates was copied from the speech of US President Barack Obama. Members of AdMU’s graduating class realized this when Pangilinan announced his plans of withdrawing troops from Iraq.

Reports say a portion of MVP’s commencement address to Ateneo graduates last month was copied from the speech of talk show host Oprah Winfrey. Members of AdMU’s graduating class realized this when Pangilinan started jumping up and down on the stage, shouting: “Each graduate gets a car! Each graduate gets a car!”

A portion of Manny Pangilinan’s commencement address to Ateneo graduates last month was copied from a speech of ‘Harry Potter’ author J.K. Rowling. Members of the graduating class realized this when MVP promised to raise funds for the Ateneo Blue Eagles Quidditch team.

One of the country’s most influential and powerful businessmen, PLDT and Smart Communications Chairman Manuel V. Pangilinan has apologized for copying sections of his graduation address from speeches of celebrities. Heaping praises on the businessman’s gesture, fellow Ateneans say it takes a lot of courage for someone like MVP to do such thing. You know, just as tough as what Ricky Martin did last week.

Manny Pangilinan admitted that portions of his graduation address in Ateneo last week were copied from speeches of celebrities. MVP subsequently apologized … as members of the Ateneo Board of Trustees held hands and sang “If We Hold On (Together).”

Immediately after graduation, members of the AdMU Class of 2010 have reportedly found jobs. Meanwhile, MVP’s speechwriter lost his.

Top 5 Messages Left on Manny V. Pangilinan’s Answering Machine

No. 5: “Hello Mr. Pangilinan! We are the La Salle Green Archers! Rektikano, Rektikano, Rektikano! Rah! Wala lang.”

No. 4: “Boss, si ***** ulit ito. Patawarin n’yo na ko ma’am, este sir. Parang awa n’yo na! Pangako, ‘di na ulit ako mangongopya! Sige na sir, please. Give me a second chance!”

No. 3: “Hi MVP, Krissy here. Gosh, that’s so obvious huh! I mean, paano nakalusot sa ‘yo ‘yun? Oprah, Obama, Conan, JK Rowling? Grabehhh, that was so kakahiya and kakaloka! Kung kami na lang ni Boy ang pinasulat mo, eh ‘di sana may props ka pang torch habang nagi-speech. Mas bongga ‘yun ‘di ba?”

No. 2: “Manny, kumusta! Si Senator Villar ‘to! Nakaranas ka na bang matulog sa maikling bangkô sa palengke o mamatayan ng kapatid dahil wala kang perang pampagamot, wala ka nang magawa? Naranasan ko na lahat ‘yan. Teka lang, sandali… parang mali ang na-dial ko ah. Cynthia, paki-check mo nga kung phone number ni Manny Pacquiao ‘tong tinatawagan ko.”

And the No. 1 message left on Manny V. Pangilinan’s answering machine…

“Hi, Sir, Danton Remoto here, your fellow proud Atenean. Kahit maraming intriga, ‘wag maimbyerna! Look ka na lang sa sky, and deadma! Chura lang nila! Babushka!”

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“Copy from one, it’s plagiarism; copy from two, it’s research.”
~John Milton

Five Poems by Danton Remoto

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